Maid? No thanks.

Since arriving in Singapore I've lost count of the number of times I've been asked if I have a 'helper'. A helper essentially is a live in maid that help with chores and pitches in with the care of children. I've seen helpers pushing kids in prams around the shops while Mum browses through the shops and helpers feeding the kids at mealtimes while Mum and Dad carry on with their own meals. Once I fell pregnant, the frequency of which this question is asked since has doubled. What's even more surprising to the person asking the question is my answer: 'no, we don't have a helper nor do we intend to hire one in the foreseeable future.'

I don't object to hiring a live in helper to help with domestic chores, however I do think that as a stay at home mum (SAHM) that a part-time cleaner or house keeper once or twice a week is a perfectly reasonable solution to help stay on top of the cleaning. Helpers are very common here in Singapore and hiring one is inexpensive, approximately SGD$750 a month, which means that she won't get a hell of a lot out of that once the government get their hands on their portion of their wages. What I do object to is the way some helpers are treated (not all fortunately). For example, it is considered the norm for helpers to be roomed in what is in most cases the storage room or the bomb shelter. Every Singapore apartment has one of these, they are windowless tiny rooms barely large enough for a single bed, that are often located in the 'yard' which is open air outdoor area attached to the kitchen. I wouldn't sleep in one, nor would I expect any person to do the same.

Yes I have no doubt that raising 2 children on my own without hired help or family nearby and with a husband that works ridiculously long hours will have it's challenges but I feel that for us it's the natural thing to do. Many many mums manage perfectly fine with 2, 3 and even 4 kids, so will I. I know that the last 2 years with Matthew has just breezed by and I have to acknowledge how lucky we have been to have had such an easy time of being first time parents. Perhaps if the learning curve of being new parents had been steeper I might have a different view point and jump at the chance of having a helper?

One thing is for sure, having the opportunity to be a SAHM is a wonderful once in a life time experience to bond with your baby/toddler and if circumstances allow, I would highly recommend it to any Mum. This opinion is also in line with my own personal views on natural birthing and water birthing, positive discipline, attachment parenting, and extended breastfeeding. I think being out of the corporate environment is turning me into a hippie.

Phuket Pictures & bye bye Nanna and Pop

I had a teary Matthew in my arms when Nanna and Pop left in the taxi for the airport this afternoon. Bye the time Nanna and Pop rang from the airport to say they were about to board their flight home bound to Sydney, Matthew was yelling 'See Ya Nanna, See Ya Pop!'. He was still a little bit teary at bedtime though... very sad little guy. It's one of the downsides to living in a different country to family, especially grandparents. But I'm sure they are thankful that we are only an 8 hour flight away and not 20 hours.

Matthew has been a delight of late, even his teachers have commented how well behaved he's been in class. I'm sure that this too is a passing phase!

The trip away was very relaxing, most days were spent relaxing at our Villa punctuated by day trips out to the nearby islands for a bit of sightseeing and snorkeling or golf (for the boys) and massages (for the girls) or trip around Phuket island to visit some of the popular beaches and tourist spots. 

Here is one of my favourite pictures from our trip away to Phuket.

Kamikaze Matthew in the pool with Daddy and Uncle Tim (Unki Thim)

Matthew is pictured here being tossed to Daddy by his Uncle, he loved it and insisted on it about a dozen times by swimming away from his Dad to his Uncle with 'more please' until both had very sore shoulders and arms.

As a side note, Matthew's 2nd birthday party planning is in full swing. I'm making the cake again this year with the same chocolate cake recipe with choc granache, but this year it'll be in the shape of a rocket to go with the Buzz Lightyear themed party we have planned.  Matthew's party is on Saturday 28th which falls perfectly on his birthday. There will be plenty of pictures posted no doubt.

One last thing, Matthew is rapidly learning to speak in sentences and carry out conversations. I've been asked how many words Matthew has in his vocabulary now and I honestly can't tell you. He'll repeat or at least have an attempt at pretty much anything you ask him to say and is particularly cute at saying 'Marshmellow' and 'Octopus'. 

23 Months ... almost 2 years old.

May' 11 issue of Motherhood Magazine.

Matthew has just been gorgeous these few weeks which have just flown by. As most of you may already know, his magazine cover is out on the newsstands at the moment and it's a little strange seeing his little face at the gas station, at 7Eleven, at the grocery stores and at the book shops. He is another little look at his cover...

We had a busy Easter break, Good Friday was spent picnicking and playing at Pasir Ris Park where there is a huge children's play area. It's a great place for children (& adults) of all ages. We were exhausted by the time we got home. The rest of the long weekend was spent hanging out with our with our good friends either at brunch or eating a lovely claypot crab.

Good Friday@ Pasir Ris Park

Alyssa, Abigail & Matthew

The following weekend was another long weekend because of Labour Day and we kicked off the holiday with play date with Matthew's good friends, Abigail & Alyssa. Matthew has been friends with them since the first week we arrived in Singapore and we catch up whenever our schedules allow. It's wonderful for us Mums to see them play together and compare all the little changes we've seen in our children over the past year.

In preparation for his 2nd birthday at the end of the month we also been on a toy shopping spree. We bought him some new toys as is customary when little boys have birthdays. The big present he's received us is a scooter. He's still getting used to scooting around the apartment and is quite tentative on it. But he likes yelling out 'SCOOTA!' We've also bought him new Buzz Lightyear toys, a whole lot of new bunch of books and additions to his Thomas the Tank Engine train set.

In readiness for the inevitable transition to a 'big boy bed' we've also got a new bed on order and it should be arriving early in June.

Mother's card from Matthew

Matthew's Nanna and Pop also arrived on Wednesday this week and they've been busy getting re-acquainted. We are all off to Phuket for an 8 day holiday shortly. I'm sure there will be plenty of pictures to post after the trip.

As it's Mother's day tomorrow, Matthew made me a lovely Mother's day card. There's a picture of Matthew in the middle holding a sign which says 'I love you Mommy'. He also bought be a beautiful pair of pearl earrings care of Duncan which I love.

Biting (again) and lots and lots of singing

Oh dear... In the last week Matthew has reverted to the very nasty habit of biting again. Both at school and at home. I thought we'd put a stop to this but not so. In the span of a few days, he's bitten 2 kids at school and attempted to bite other kids as well. As his teachers are aware now of his tendency to nip at other kids in frustration if he doesn't get his way, they've been extra vigilant during class. It's almost always due to frustration that Matthew will lash out, eg not wanting to share a toy, wanting a turn on the bike or slide etc. In one instance, he took two bites at a girl because she was in his way when he was trying to wash his hands at the sink. All very negative behavior which I hope he will grow out of quickly. It's one of the downsides of being a parent to an over active, short tempered, bossy and impatient toddler.
On the upside, he's also equally happy, affectionate and sweet and his moods will yo-yo between the two to drive me absolutely mental. We've definitely hit the terrible twos.

Words

There's been so many new words in Matthews vocabulary lately and lots and lots of singing. He likes to sing 'Twinkle twinkle little star' in toddler babble (the tune is unmistakeable and I'm proud to say he's not tone deaf like his Dad!) and 'ABCD'. He'll recite 'A, B, C' and if we are lucky 'D' and 'E' as well but after that it's a jumble of letters mainly consisting of 'Bs' and 'Cs' for the remainder of the alphabet. We are also up to 4 word sentences and have heard him say 'more block toys please' without any prompting and 'more Buzz please Mummy'. As Matthew now understands lots of words and direction, we have to remind ourselves to watch what we say around him.

Edited to add: Duncan just reminded me that he also sings 'Row row row your boat' and another song that I like to sing to him called 'soft kitty'. For those of you who are fans of the TV show Big Bang Theory you might know it.

Poh Poh and Goong Goong have left Singapore to continue on their vacation to China but their visit left a lasting impression on Matthew. He greeted them both with a warm welcoming cuddle each and enjoyed having the added attention lavished on him. He loved especially to hovered over, sit next to, hug and crawl up on his Goong Goong frequently. He also enjoyed copying what Goong Goong was doing like taking out the batteries from the keyboard or what Goong Goong was eating for breakfast (and how he ate it). I enjoyed having my parents around as my Mum cooked, helped with housework and did all the laundry! It gave me lots of time to ponder over the issue of Matthew's biting :(  Pictures from their visit will be uploaded soon.

Into the 22nd Month...

little General is just that much closer to two. Lately his obsession seems to be Buzz Lightyear from the Toy Story movies. He simply adores him and as such we've had to endure countless hours of watching Toy Story 1, 2 and 3 over and over again. His sudden obsession started about 2 weeks ago, prior to this TV watching was an absolute minimum. He's had his Buzz Lightyear and Woody dolls since Christmas so I really have no clue as to how this fascination with Buzz started.

'NO'
is his answer to everything. It's driving us nuts.

Bintan 25 to 28th March
...was great. It's the most relaxing holiday we've had in ages. Matthew had a great old time playing by the beach or swimming in the pool any chance he got. All that playing meant 3-4 hours of napping every afternoon too which was wonderful for Duncan and I to kick back and relax and do absolutely nothing for a change.

First (professional) Haircut 29th March
I got a call from Matthew modeling agency on Tuesday to ask whether he'd be available today for a photo shoot, to which I'd said yes. So I quick trip to the hairdressers was in order. I wasnt going to chance giving him on of my 'Mummy Specials' and botch the job right before a shoot. Matthew didn't budge or whinge during his haircut but you can tell by the pictures that he wasn't too happy. Here are some before and after shots.

Before/During

After.

The Photo Shoot 31 Mar
went real well. Our day started at 930am on location on the Singapore East Coast Park. First up was make up and styling. Matthew refused to have his eyelashes curled and the stylist only managed to put some gel in his hair.  There were a few 'Nos' thrown about :( The biggest 'Diva' moment was when we all had to wait till Matthew finished his raisins before we could start shooting. The second biggest 'Diva' moment of the morning was when the stylists assistant had to fawn over Matthew with more raisins and gummy bears.

Matthew was paired with a Brazillian model as his faux Mum for the cover of Motherhood Magazine. His faux mum, Nadia was really lovely and great interacting with Matthew, so I think we got some really great pictures and the editors have a few choices to select from for the cover. The assignment was for 4.5 hours but Matthew managed to get his shots over with in less than 2. His agent was super impressed at how quickly Matthew completed his assignment. I'm glad it was over with quickly as jumping out of bushes to elicit a smile and a giggle out of Matthew on cue is tough work. Magazine is out May 2011. Will keep y'all posted.

Poh Poh and Goong Goong
are here. Thank goodness.

Not ready for potty training

we attempted to potty train Matthew a couple of weekends ago without any success. The only success we had was making Matthew afraid of the loo.

Matthew has kinda been showing us he's ready for potty training - telling us when he's done a poo in his nappy and we can tell when he's about to do one. Not so consistent with telling us he needs to do a wee but we'd thought we'd give it a go anyway, as the thought of getting potty training knocked over before the new baby arrives sounded very appealing. During the weekend in question, when Matthew indicated that he was about to do a poo, we'd place him on the potty. The first time he just sat there and looked around, at us and at everything else. So we thought, maybe not this time and keep trying. About 10 mins after we'd put Matthew's diaper back on he indicated that he needed to do a poo again, this time, to preempt us, he ran away from us when we tried to put him on the potty. We eventually managed to get to him in time before he did his business to pop him back on his potty but still no poop and this time very reluctant to even stay seated there. After a few attempts it's escalated to Matthew crying when he needs to poo (before and after) and refuses to sit on the potty. Not a good start at all :( Perhaps we'll leave it for another month before trying again.

Oh yes... for a change, Matthew was the 'bitee' at school. Some other toddler actually bit him so hard on his thumb that it left little red teeth marks and made Matthew cry. Matthew's not a crier, not even for vaccination needles, so it must have really hurt him. Part of me thought, well at least now he knows what it feels like to be bitten but the other part of me felt really awful for him. According to his teacher, it was completely unprovoked, the other child received time out, apologised to Matthew and Matthew graciously accepted his apology and continued playing together. Wish adults could behave the same way. 

Here's a picture of Matthew taken last night practicing his fake smile. His face seems to have changed so much in the last month!

Just a quick note about visitors and travel.
Matthew's Poh Poh and Goong Goong have confirmed that they will be in Singapore for a visit from the 30th Mar to the 6th of April. Looking forward very much to having some family around. Duncan's business trip to Zurich has been postponed so instead, we've decided to take a short vacation to Bintan, Indonesia for 4 days and will be away from the 25th to the 28th of Mar.

The sad new and the good news.

Firstly some sad news.

Our beloved labrador Socrates passed away on Saturday. After a long and happy nearly 14 years with our family he sadly had to be put down as his body was failing him. Socrates was a beautiful loving member of the family, loved equally in return by all of us. Rest in peace old friend, we miss you. Sweet Matthew has been hoovering quietly over me with a tissue on hand to dab away my tears. I've not told Matthew that his 'whoa whoa' is gone...

The good news.

We (I am) are pregnant. Currently in our 15th week of pregnancy and safely in the 2nd trimester. All is progressing smoothly, with all the usual early pregnancy tests and scans returning with results that were literally off the charts, in a positive way. I'm also over my bout of mild morning sickness and have resumed my usual pre-natal routine of regular yoga and exercise. We are all very excited to be welcoming a baby sister or brother for Matthew. Matthew is non the wiser as to what all the fuss is about and looks at the black and white ultrasound pictures with curiosity. The newest Baby Bradey will make his/her grand entrance this Sept. The official due date is the 4th of Sept.

More generally, Matthew has well and truly settled into his new routine at school.  I can say with confidence that he really enjoys it there - he happily waves goodbye to us in the morning and never fails to greet me with a big smile and cuddle at home time. He enjoys the classes and activities, particularly music which is held every morning at 1030am and never fails to garner lovely comments from his music teacher. Matthew has also picked up a few Chinese/Mandarin words - 'Good bye' - Zai Jian, 'Apple' -  Ping Guo and 'Thank You' - xie xie. He's learning to be gentle with his friends as he has a tendency so play a little rough which gets him into trouble with his teacher. Matthew is no stranger to the 'quiet spot' both at school and at home.

Around the home Matthew is your typical (nearly) 2 year old toddler. 'No' seems to be favourite word of late, even when he really means 'yes'. As if for extra emphasis, Matthew likes to shakes his head when he says 'No'. I must admit it was very cute for about a day.

Each evening as bedtime draws near, Matthew will invariably try a few of the following three tricks in an attempt to avoid going to bed for as long as possible. He will plead for 'more books, please Mummy' and if I don't submit to his demands, then it's 'please Mummy, please Mummy, please Mummy'. And if that doesnt work, he'll ask for his Daddy. The second is 'Tissue' or 'Nose', which means that Matthew would like a tissue so that he can blow his nose, even though there is no reason for it. The last trick and the most frequently used, is 'Water', he'll ask repeatedly for us to fetch his water even though the bottle is right next to him in bed. All of his little antics provides us with much humor but also frustration. Fortunately though, once he's off asleep, he'll sleep soundly till a very respectable 730am the next morning or when we wake him.

Here is our Matthew, looking extremely cheeky posing for the camera.

bye for now.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Wishing our friends and family a Happy Lunar Rabbit year. May your dreams hop and bounce all the way to great heights.

On Tuesday, we were invited to Matthew's school for Chinese New Year celebrations to help welcome in the new year. Matthew was at first confused when I stayed at the school rather than giving him the usual goodbye kiss and quick exit. They'd organise all sorts of kiddie and parent activities like, paper dragon making (our paper dragon now hangs proudly in our lounge room), dumpling making (lots of eating by Matthew and I), tea appreciation, face painting and an array of new year goodies for refreshments. Matthew loved showing off his 'space' - dragging me around and showing me the different rooms.

Matthew has been on a break from school since then, so the following day I took Matthew with me to do a final shop before our Chinese New Year Eve dinner or what is commonly known as the reunion dinner where family members get together to share a meal on the eve of the New Year. I'd forgotten how trickly it could be to juggle a toddler and try to get the grocery shopping done at the same time. Since Matthew's at school in the mornings, I take advantage of my 'me' time to get the chores done, so this was a not so gentle reminder of how much of a juggling act it could be to complete the simple task of grabbing a few last minute items at the shops. Even though Matthew was strapped into his stroller, his arms and legs were swinging wildly trying to swipe anything he could reach off the shelves. Sometimes I really miss the days when he just a tiny little baby.

School & travel update

As we near the end of Matthew 3rd week of school, here's some of the comments we've received from his teachers. He's attention span is lengthening, Matthew will sit still at his desk for up to 10-15 mins (I've yet to actually see this with my own eyes!). He loves his food which is so true, he's also the only child that will feed himself using cutlery during mealtimes - probably because he's too impatient to wait to be fed. He appears to be showing signs that he may be a lefty, although from my observations at home he uses both left and right hand to draw, including toes and feet to move things around. During his first week at school, he was intrigued by his classmates water bottles and was helping himself to sips from each of them, which his teachers had to put a stop to. Since then Matthew has learned to match each water bottle to it's rightful owner and is his job to hand out the water during breaks. At 19 months old, Matthew is also the youngest child in his class of 7 children. All in all, Matthew seems to be fitting in nicely and enjoy going to school. Over the past 3 days, we've not had any crying when I've dropped him off and this morning he actually smiled when he saw his teacher instead of panicking :)

As mentioned in one of the previous posts, there's much movement over the next few months - Matthew's passport is filling up quickly!

February 8th to 14th  - Duncan will be in Sydney to attend a wedding.
March 12 to 20th - Matthew will be on school holidays and we will most likely spend the week in Zurich with Duncan as he will already be there on a business trip.
April 14th - Aunt Liz and Uncle David visiting from Perth.
May 4th to 20th - Nana & Pop (Chris & Geoff) visiting.
May 8th to 15th - Phuket with Nana & Pop.

The only travel to be confirmed is Poh Poh and Goong Goong's visit at the end of March/early April.

Matthew's Model Card

Matthew's current model card (wearing the orange polo) taken in Nov 2010, compared with the one taken in July 2010.  Doesn't he look cute!!!