Maid? No thanks.

Since arriving in Singapore I've lost count of the number of times I've been asked if I have a 'helper'. A helper essentially is a live in maid that help with chores and pitches in with the care of children. I've seen helpers pushing kids in prams around the shops while Mum browses through the shops and helpers feeding the kids at mealtimes while Mum and Dad carry on with their own meals. Once I fell pregnant, the frequency of which this question is asked since has doubled. What's even more surprising to the person asking the question is my answer: 'no, we don't have a helper nor do we intend to hire one in the foreseeable future.'

I don't object to hiring a live in helper to help with domestic chores, however I do think that as a stay at home mum (SAHM) that a part-time cleaner or house keeper once or twice a week is a perfectly reasonable solution to help stay on top of the cleaning. Helpers are very common here in Singapore and hiring one is inexpensive, approximately SGD$750 a month, which means that she won't get a hell of a lot out of that once the government get their hands on their portion of their wages. What I do object to is the way some helpers are treated (not all fortunately). For example, it is considered the norm for helpers to be roomed in what is in most cases the storage room or the bomb shelter. Every Singapore apartment has one of these, they are windowless tiny rooms barely large enough for a single bed, that are often located in the 'yard' which is open air outdoor area attached to the kitchen. I wouldn't sleep in one, nor would I expect any person to do the same.

Yes I have no doubt that raising 2 children on my own without hired help or family nearby and with a husband that works ridiculously long hours will have it's challenges but I feel that for us it's the natural thing to do. Many many mums manage perfectly fine with 2, 3 and even 4 kids, so will I. I know that the last 2 years with Matthew has just breezed by and I have to acknowledge how lucky we have been to have had such an easy time of being first time parents. Perhaps if the learning curve of being new parents had been steeper I might have a different view point and jump at the chance of having a helper?

One thing is for sure, having the opportunity to be a SAHM is a wonderful once in a life time experience to bond with your baby/toddler and if circumstances allow, I would highly recommend it to any Mum. This opinion is also in line with my own personal views on natural birthing and water birthing, positive discipline, attachment parenting, and extended breastfeeding. I think being out of the corporate environment is turning me into a hippie.